Twenty Things: #2

2. I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed.

As adoptive parents it is important that we not attempt to deny the needs of adopted children. We really want to believe that our love will conquer all needs and losses in our children's lives. None of us want to believe that our children will have pain as a result of their adoption loss.
On the other hand, we need to be careful not to assume that every need our child exhibits is due to adoption loss. There is a fine line here - giving our children freedom to express their feelings but not creating issues where there are none. It is critical that we help our kids know that their feelings are acceptable and that there is no need for shame.

Some things we can do:
* Provide accurate information to our children about their birthfamilies.
* Create an environment that gives them freedom to talk about their feelings.
* Respect their feelings no matter how illogical they may seem to you.
* Be careful to never make their pain about you. It has to be about them.
* Don't forget that God creates families.

Pray for your children and for their hearts to be healed. Know that God will equip you to be the parent that He has called you to be.