Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A Real Birthmother

Today I met with a birthmother. She was sweet, vulnerable, respectful and truly concerned about her baby and the plan she was making.
There was nothing about her that was selfish.
There was nothing about her that was threatening.
She cried when I told her that the adoptive family would keep one of the names she had chosen to be used as a part of the child's name - a gift from her that could never be taken away.
She cried when I told her that I would hope that she would have a strong connection with her child and the adoptive family through the years.
She cried for the pain that her mother was experiencing.
She was concerned for her little brother and how her plan would affect him.
She is only 18 but seems to have the wisdom of a much older woman.
Pray for her!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Adoption = Fear?

Recently we were reunited with a birthmom who placed 2 children 11 and 13 years ago with a loving Christian family. After sacrificing her own desires so that her children could have a family and a life that she felt she could not give them, this adoptive family "disappeared". They have not communicated with her for more than 10 years. They moved and did not inform the agency. It is apparent that they have no intention or desire to have contact with the very woman who gave them a family.
My heart breaks as we hear this woman share the pain and grief of being rejected by the couple who received her children as their own through adoption. She longs to know how her boys are doing - what they look like - what they love to do. It is simple - a letter, some pictures would make a huge difference.
Why does this couple run away from this precious young woman? Is it because they fear her involvement? Do they fear that their boys will love her more than they love them? Have they simply discarded her worth as a birthmother?
How can a couple profess to be Christians and then so easily walk away from the woman who gave them such incredible gifts?
I don't have an answer to these questions but I would love to hear your thoughts.
I am still praying that the Lord will soften the hearts of this couple and stir within them a love for this precious woman - the birthmother of their boys.