Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Openness Works!

This is a picture of my grandson and his birthmother celebrating his 4th birthday - a picture of openness. I love seeing him with her. There is a sweetness and a familiarity that is both amazing and comforting.

Amazing that God has created us in such a way that Justus just knows her - and comforting to know that Justus will never have to wonder if his birthmom loves him.

This relationship began with a few simple visits. After this, his birthmom moved out of state, and everyone had to become more purposeful in maintaining a relationship.

The first year of building this relationship, they bought Kathleen a ticket to fly to Houston to celebrate his 2nd birthday. She stayed at my house where we also had the birthday party.

The second year, they flew her here and she stayed in College Station in a hotel and spent more time at their house.

This year Kathleen flew here and stayed at their house. She was able to put Justus to bed, read books to him, watch movies and eat popcorn together. I am sure that when Kathleen made an adoption plan for her precious son she never could have hoped that she would some day do all of those things with her son.

I am sure that if you have not yet experienced adoption this kind of openness must sound pretty scary.

Is it for everyone? Probably not. Could it be? Absolutely!

It requires that everyone work together to build a foundation of trust. It takes time. It takes sensitivity to each other's needs.
It takes a belief that this kind of relationship will be good for everyone involved.

You can see that this relationship did not begin with total openness. This adoptive family played by our rules - which we believe are in place to help everyone in this process - and then they simply and prayerfully allowed the Lord to guide them through the steps to openness.

As I visited with Kathleen this past weekend, she made the statement that she can now look back on the past 4 years and see how God had laid out a plan to give her son a better life - to give her an opportunity to change and to bring a family into her life that would lead her back to God.

In God's great plan, He has allowed Justus' family to love Kathleen and to help her come back to HIM. What a great God!


Rusty and Jennifer said...

What a blessing for Justus. I have not given up hope that someday, Holland will have that same assurance of love and intent for his life.
Thank you for never giving up on us either and continuing to pray- 10 years later!

Hayley said...

I'm thankful for the open relationship we have with Em's birth grandmother, and I pray that we will someday have the same type of relationship with her birth mom. What a blessing it is to see the openness work! :)