Will you be Jesus to her?

Do you have a passion to pray for the salvation of your birthmom?
Are your kids praying for their birthmom to know Jesus?
Can your birth family see Jesus in the way you respond to them?
As the adoption process began you prayed for the right birthmom that would place a baby in your arms.
You prayed fervently after the baby was born that the birthmom would follow through with the adoption plan.
After placement, you prayed that there would be no legal conflicts and you prayed for finalization.
Then you considered it done.
But truly, your role of being Jesus to your child's birthmom was just beginning.
Have you considered the fact that God brought you to adoption not just for you or the baby, but so that you could be a witness and encouragement to your birthmom?
We have only a window of time to lead these women to Christ, but you have a lifetime.
We constantly look for opportunities to share Christ while we work with a birthmom, but many times we have seen adoptive families destroy that testimony by treating a birthmom like an enemy.
Your child's birthmom is not your enemy. She does not wish to be a threat to you. She does not desire to cause you pain. She is a woman who, for many different reasons, found herself in an unplanned pregnancy and chose, not only give her child LIFE, but chose to give her child a BETTER LIFE by making an adoption plan with you.
When a birthmom seeks information about New Life, we quickly tell her that we only place babies with Christian families. Regardless of her religious beliefs, this brings her comfort. She believes that this will give her child security. She believes that the adoptive family will more easily love her for who she is.
Your challenge is to seek the Lord and follow Him as He leads you to be "Jesus" to this very important person in your life.
What does it look like to "be Jesus" in your relationship with your birthmom?
It means that there is no fear. It means that you quickly consider her feelings before your own. It means that you pray for her, love her and share a bit of your lives with her for the purpose of her eternity.

Openness Works!

This is a picture of my grandson and his birthmother celebrating his 4th birthday - a picture of openness. I love seeing him with her. There is a sweetness and a familiarity that is both amazing and comforting.

Amazing that God has created us in such a way that Justus just knows her - and comforting to know that Justus will never have to wonder if his birthmom loves him.

This relationship began with a few simple visits. After this, his birthmom moved out of state, and everyone had to become more purposeful in maintaining a relationship.

The first year of building this relationship, they bought Kathleen a ticket to fly to Houston to celebrate his 2nd birthday. She stayed at my house where we also had the birthday party.

The second year, they flew her here and she stayed in College Station in a hotel and spent more time at their house.

This year Kathleen flew here and stayed at their house. She was able to put Justus to bed, read books to him, watch movies and eat popcorn together. I am sure that when Kathleen made an adoption plan for her precious son she never could have hoped that she would some day do all of those things with her son.

I am sure that if you have not yet experienced adoption this kind of openness must sound pretty scary.

Is it for everyone? Probably not. Could it be? Absolutely!

It requires that everyone work together to build a foundation of trust. It takes time. It takes sensitivity to each other's needs.
It takes a belief that this kind of relationship will be good for everyone involved.

You can see that this relationship did not begin with total openness. This adoptive family played by our rules - which we believe are in place to help everyone in this process - and then they simply and prayerfully allowed the Lord to guide them through the steps to openness.

As I visited with Kathleen this past weekend, she made the statement that she can now look back on the past 4 years and see how God had laid out a plan to give her son a better life - to give her an opportunity to change and to bring a family into her life that would lead her back to God.

In God's great plan, He has allowed Justus' family to love Kathleen and to help her come back to HIM. What a great God!

God Revealed in Adoption

This week I had the privilege of being a part of a God-moment. I watched as the Holy Spirit moved through our office touching hearts and confirming His plan in the mind of a birthmother and an adoptive family. It was their first meeting and the baby is due soon. I am thankful that God works in miraculous ways to bring His plan together and that He allows us to be a part of it.
Please pray for this birthmom and adoptive family and they prepare for the day of placement.

A Real Birthmother

Today I met with a birthmother. She was sweet, vulnerable, respectful and truly concerned about her baby and the plan she was making.
There was nothing about her that was selfish.
There was nothing about her that was threatening.
She cried when I told her that the adoptive family would keep one of the names she had chosen to be used as a part of the child's name - a gift from her that could never be taken away.
She cried when I told her that I would hope that she would have a strong connection with her child and the adoptive family through the years.
She cried for the pain that her mother was experiencing.
She was concerned for her little brother and how her plan would affect him.
She is only 18 but seems to have the wisdom of a much older woman.
Pray for her!

Adoption = Fear?

Recently we were reunited with a birthmom who placed 2 children 11 and 13 years ago with a loving Christian family. After sacrificing her own desires so that her children could have a family and a life that she felt she could not give them, this adoptive family "disappeared". They have not communicated with her for more than 10 years. They moved and did not inform the agency. It is apparent that they have no intention or desire to have contact with the very woman who gave them a family.
My heart breaks as we hear this woman share the pain and grief of being rejected by the couple who received her children as their own through adoption. She longs to know how her boys are doing - what they look like - what they love to do. It is simple - a letter, some pictures would make a huge difference.
Why does this couple run away from this precious young woman? Is it because they fear her involvement? Do they fear that their boys will love her more than they love them? Have they simply discarded her worth as a birthmother?
How can a couple profess to be Christians and then so easily walk away from the woman who gave them such incredible gifts?
I don't have an answer to these questions but I would love to hear your thoughts.
I am still praying that the Lord will soften the hearts of this couple and stir within them a love for this precious woman - the birthmother of their boys.

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day brings a myriad of emotions for women.

I know of a woman who, tonight, is heart-broken over poor choices made by her daughter.

Another's arms ache for a baby to love and care for.

Still another lives with the memory of a child that was once nurtured within her womb and now calls someone else Mommy.

All of these women deserve to be honored for who they are and the heart they possess.

Obviously, because this is a blog about adoption, I am asking you to remember the women who made a selfless plan and placed their babies for adoption. Every year the day before Mother's Day is Birthmother's Day. Take a moment to pray for birthmothers - those who have already placed a child for adoption and those who are nearing the day of placement.

A dear, sweet friend has written this blog from a birthmother's perspective that better reveals the heart of a woman we call "birthmother".

God's Ways are not our Ways

Today I write out of heart of sadness for some very special adoptive families. They are families that have learned in the last few days that they will not receive the baby that they thought would become a part of their family. We try to prepare families for failed placements but it is almost impossible to guard your heart in this process of adoption.
More than anything we strive to give birth moms the freedom to make the decision and plan that they absolutely believe is right for them and their baby. But in the same moment we long to see an adoptive family experience the joy of receiving a baby in their arms. The emotions are almost more than any human being can control.
But in the end, we know that God has a perfect plan for birth moms, babies and adoptive families. Trusting in God's sovereign plan is what keeps us believing, trusting and knowing.
In all of this, we want to encourage birth moms to be the very best parent they can be and to pray for and love adoptive families as they grieve their loss and wait on the completion of God's perfect plan.
May God bless you in this journey of adoption!